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A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Shop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk & worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

In Ohio, an unidentified man in his twenties walked into a police station with a 9" wire protruding from his forehead & calmly asked officers to give him an X-ray to help him find his brain, which he claimed had been stolen. Police were shocked to learn that the man had drilled a 6" deep hole in his skull with a Black & Decker power drill and had stuck the wire in to try and find the missing brain.

In Medford, Oregon, a 27-year-old jobless man with an MBA blamed his college degree for his murder of 3 people. "There are too many business grads out there" he said. "If I had chosen another field, all this may not have happened..."

Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words "Give me all your money or I'll shoot" the man shouted "That's not what I said!"

A bank robber in Virginia Beach got a big surprise when a dye pack designed to mark stolen money exploded in his Fruit-of-the-Looms. The robber apparently stuffed the loot down the front of his pants as he was running out the door. He was seen hopping and jumping around said police spokesman Mike Carey "with an explosion taking place inside his pants." Police have the man's charred trousers in custody...

In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket.


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