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0100_097A
WINDOWS 98 Recall
It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Alabama edition of
Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside Alabama. If you have one
of the Alabama editions you may need some help understanding the commands.

The Alabama edition may be recognized by looking at the opening screen. It
reads WINDERS 98 with a background picture of the General Lee superimposed on
a Confederate flag. It is shipped with a Daisy Duke screen saver. Also note
the Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse, My Computer is called This Infernal
Contraption, Dialup Networking is called Good  Ol' Boys, Control Panel is
known as the Dern Dashboard, Hard Drive is referred to as 4 wheel drive, and
floppies are them little ole plastic disc thangs.  Other features:

Instead of a error message you get a winder covered with a garbage bag and
duct tape.
OK         =     ats aww-right
cancel     =     hail no
reset      =     aw shoot
yes        =     shore
no         =     Naaaa
find       =     hunt-fer it
go to      =     over yonder
back       =     back yonder
help       =     hep me out here
stop       =     ternit off
start      =     crank it up
settings   =     sittins
programs   =     stuff at does stuff
documents  =     stuff I done done

Also note that winders 98 does not recognize capital letters or punctuation
marks.  Some programs that are exclusive to winders 98
tiperiter...........................A word processor
colering book..................a graphics program
addin mershene..............calculator
outhouse paper ..............notepad
jupe-box.........................CD Player
inner-net........................Microsoft Explorer
pichers..........................A graphics viewer
IRS...............................M/S accounting software
IRS2.............................M/S accounting software with hidden files
coon dog.......................American kennel club records
fishin............................Bass Anglers Sportsman Society records.
NRA.............................National  Rifle Association
shot gun.......................Remington Arms price list
riffel..............................Winchester price list
pisstel..........................Smith & Wesson price list
truck............................Ford &Chevrolet dealers in Alabama. by zip
code
house..........................Nearest Mobile home repair service by zip code
cuzzins........................family history usually a 3 meg file
tax records...................usually an empty file
shells..........................ammunition inventory another 3 meg file
bud.............................list of Budwiser dealers by zip code
rasin...........................NASCAR racing schedule includes list of TV
stations that 
                                  carry the race car news truck
Parts..........................nearest Junk yard by zip code
doc.............................veterinarians  by zip code

We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy of the
Alabama edition.  You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.





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